What If We Were Allowed to Grieve—Together?
I often wonder what the world might look like if we were allowed to grieve together. Not just in hushed corners or behind closed doors. But openly. Communally. Tenderly.
What if we were taught how to grieve? What if we were offered spaces to feel our sorrow, to honor our losses, and to be held through it all—not just when someone dies, but in any kind of moment of loss?
Grief is one of the most human experiences we share, yet it’s so often pushed into the shadows. We’re told to “stay strong,” to “move on,” to “keep it together.” But what if the strength we need is actually found in allowing ourselves—and one another—to fall apart, even just a little, in the presence of care?
Lately, I’ve been returning to the teachings of Sobonfu Somé, a West African teacher and author from the Dagara tribe in Burkina Faso. In her writing, she described a community shaped by the belief that grief is not a burden to carry alone, but a sacred experience that belongs to everyone.
She recalled how, after any kind of loss, she would be asked: “Have you grieved enough? Have you cried enough?” Grief rituals were woven into everyday life—communal practices that made space for people to release pain, to be witnessed, to be supported.
In her community, grief was not something to hide. It was something to tend to.
Somé spoke about the danger of unexpressed grief—how it can harden inside of us, how it can accumulate over time and begin to block our joy, our creativity, even our capacity to connect with others. “It may even kill us,” she wrote. Grief that is not moved through has a way of taking root. It weighs us down. It isolates us.
Does this feel familiar? Do you see it in the people around you? Do you recognize it in yourself?
So many of us are carrying grief we’ve never named. Personal grief. Collective grief. Ancestral grief. Grief from endings that didn’t come with closure, from losses that no one acknowledged, from the quiet ache of the way things should be.
And we’re not just grieving as individuals—we’re grieving as a society. As Valarie Kaur writes: “Unresolved grief in a person is tragic. Unresolved grief in a nation is catastrophic.” Look around: the violence, the polarization, the disconnection, the numbness. So much of it is rooted in grief that’s been left unacknowledged.
The world is aching. And we need spaces where we can be human together.
That’s why my friend Mallory and I are hosting our first Community Grief Ritual on Saturday, May 31. We’re creating a space where people can come as they are—tender, unsure, heavy-hearted, curious—and be part of a collective process of grief-tending.
You don’t need to have experienced a “major” loss to join us. You don’t need to know exactly what you’re grieving. You don’t even need to be able to put it into words. This is for anyone who feels the weight of the world right now. For anyone who’s been holding too much for too long. For anyone who is grieving for our non-human kin—the birds, the forests, the Earth herself. For anyone who has been taught to grieve in silence and is longing for something else.
Grief is not something we’re meant to do alone. It needs witnesses. It needs rhythm. It needs ritual. That’s what we’ll be offering—a container of care, remembrance, and release. A place where you can let something go, or simply let something be seen.
We all have grief. Let’s honor it—together.
Community Grief Circle: Ritual Waters
An Evening of Collective Grieving, Witnessing, and Release
Join us for a communal grief ritual where we will gather to wade into the waters of sorrow, remembrance, and transformation. This circle is for anyone holding grief—whether personal, collective, or ancestral—and yearning for a space to tend that grief in community.
Together, we will co-create a sacred space of care through grounding meditation, ritual offerings, and the healing practice of fully witnessing one another in our grief.
Water, the great holder and transformer, carries our grief, softens it, and teaches us to keep flowing. In this ritual, we will offer our grief to a communal bowl of water—symbolizing our shared tears and collective losses—and witness as our grief dissolves, changes form, and moves with and through us. We will reflect on the different kinds of grief and invite them all into the ritual waters to be held, released, and transformed.
This gathering will include:
- A communal altar and grounding meditation
- Teachings on the different types of grief
- A witnessing circle with optional sharing
- A water ritual & communal song
- Time at the end to share tea in community
Tears, silence, anger, and stillness are all welcome. No prior ritual experience is needed.
📅 Date: Saturday, May 31st
⏰ Time: 5:00-7:00pm
📍 Location: Nadi Space Studio in Haebangchon, Seoul
서울 용산구 신흥로5길 11 2층 https://naver.me/53l7jlNh
🎟️ Exchange:￦18,000 // ₩12,000 for Nadi Members
👉 Register in advance at nadispace.as.me/griefcircle
~Limited spots available~
Bring yourself and if you’d like, a small item that connects you to your grief to place on the altar (photo, flower, stone, etc.)
All are welcome, come as you are ❤️🩹
